Take Back The Night

Tonight I wanted to blog about an event I just attended at my college. It's called Take Back The Night. I suppose I should give you a little background story first. In the last week there were two attempts at sexual assault within twenty-four hours of each other. In response our college sent out emails, texts, had an investigation, held a campus forum, and the overall support the campus had was mind blowing. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen here, because the sad truth is that it does happen. But when an incident happens the whole community pulls together and does something to stop it, that is what Gustavus is known for. And of course our campus pulled together for large support, people offer to walk together, offer rides, offer support, and offer care. One of the things the campus offered was the event Take Back The Night. This is an organization that is against sexual assault, to be the voice against it. The website is takebackthenight.org and is amazing and I suggest you all to go on the site. Tonight as a campus we came together to hear four speakers and then we separated into males and females and shared stories of how sexual assault has impacted our life. The women took a walk around the campus to claim back the campus, to say that this is our campus and we are not afraid to walk it. The males met back up with us and together as a group we burned the pieces of paper that had our stories to symbolically show that we are free of what happened. ((At least that's what I got out of it, though others might have gotten a different message.))

The reason I am writing about this event is because I have something to share. Personally I am not a survivor, but I know many people who are and they are the strongest most extraordinary people I know.

My best friend is a survivor. I've known her for several years, and I knew the man who assaulted her. He was my best friend also. I trusted him and confided in him never knowing at all what was going on behind closed doors. They were together for two years and when they broke up months after she finally told me about what had been going on. What I had been oblivious too for two years. I'm glad she told me, that she trusted me with her story and I'm glad that I was there for her. She told people what had happened and it didn't go smoothly at all. Unfortunately he only got a restraining order and a slap on the wrist. But being by her side I learned how strong survivors are and what they go through during and after the assault.

She is not the only survivor I know. I know female and male survivors and I'm glad these people had the courage to tell me and trusted me with such stories.

The reason I am writing is to other survivors those who have spoken out about what had happened and those who haven't yet. I want you all to know that YOU ARE STRONG! You might not believe that you are, but don't let that doubt consume you because you are amazing, beautiful, extraordinary, strong people. NEVER BLAME YOURSELF. It's never your fault don't even think for a second that it is. Don't start tearing yourself apart for what happened. It's hard. It's not going to be easy, but you have many people that LOVE YOU, and SUPPORT YOU.

For those people who are not survivors and are people who know someone who is a survivor or support survivors I have something to share you with you also. You are beautiful caring people and I am glad to have people like you who are in the fight to stop sexual assault.

For those people who read this and think that you have nothing to do with this I have a message for you also. Most likely there is someone who you know who is a survivor. And when they tell you, or you find out, DO NOT ACT OUT IN VIOLENCE OR ANGER. Acting out in violence is just a repeat of the cycle that started this all. What you should do is be there for that person, listen to them, be that person whose shoulder they can cry on. Act in an understanding way. Remind them that they are amazing and strong. Most likely these people will feel doubt or self blame DO NOT LET THEM. It is never the victim's fault no matter the situation, no matter what they did, what they didn't do. Support them.

As to the media, STOP portraying women as objects. STOP selling our bodies. And STOP glorifying sex.

Last note I want to make is about the white ribbon campaign. Wear a white ribbon to show that you are against sexual assault, that you will not be a bystander when it happens. That you will not be a bystander when crude comments are made or when a situation occurs. Be the voice. Stop your friends when they're tearing apart women, stop the person who is pulling an intoxicated person into an abandoned room. Stop that person that keeps giving the girl drinks, drugs, or whatever. Stop the situation before it turns into sexual assault.

SEXUAL ASSAULT SHOULD NEVER BE ACCEPTED! IT HAS NO PLACE IN THIS WORLD!